When Parents Behave Badly

      I have been quite shocked many times at how some parents speak to their kids and around their kids.  I used to be friends with one mother who said the f word at any given time. There was never an effort to censor herself around her kids. One day, she was talking about needing to get a truck to move her things. Someone recommended some man she knew who owned a truck.  Right in front of her twelve year old daughter, this mom says, "Oh, he won't do anything for me unless he thinks he can have sex with me."  I was dumbfounded. If one of my kids had been in the room, I would have said something, but the girl is her child.  Not an appropriate conversation to have in front of one's child.  I don't care if that child is twelve; still not appropriate.
      On another occasion, I was with my then four year old at a six year's pool party.  Another family consisting of Dad, Mom, and baby were in the pool. Adults were chatting, but this dad kept using the "f" word in regular conversation.  He wasn't angry. He was just talking about something that had happened. Again, this was what would have been very normal conversation except it was laced with profanity.  There were children all around.  Excuse me, but an adult should be able to watch his mouth. It didn't even phase him in the least that kids were all around. 
      All of the experts write about being careful who your child's friends are. At this rate, be careful who the parents are.  I guess most of us parents assume that other parents know better and know that when a child enters the room or is in the vicinity, they should watch what they say. Sadly, I have experienced many occasions when children have entered a room and the adults just keep continuing their profanity laced conversations without a single pause.  When I am with adults only, my mouth can get bad, but NOT when kids are around. That's not to say that I don't let certain words slip out around my kids; I do.  It is not intentional though. And, yes, I get cross sometimes and my mouth gets the better of me. 
      I have stopped being friends with a couple of different women over how they parent their kids.  It just seems that so many parents don't even want to be bothered with their kids.  I'm not talking about differences of opinions.  I'm not talking about things like co-sleeping vs crib sleeping, vaccines vs no vaccines. Those are personal choices which most people make very lovingly regardless of what is decided. I'm talking about the parents who have NO censor around their kids.  I'm talking about parents who act like they have never read a single parenting article.
       I also have seen many parents not bother to use good manners towards their children.  "Anne, bring me a tissue," could easily replaced with "Anne, bring me a tissue please."  The end result is still the same, but the child has been shown a courtesy and will now associate that when a request/command/demand is given, the word please should accomany such a request. The parent should also remember to say thank you when the child brings the item.  This will help the child to remember to use good manners and say please when asking for their needs to be met and thank you once those needs are met.  The saying "we teach by example" is so true.

Eden Farm 3/30/2012

Homemade Detergent and Shampoo

 One of the things that I try to do for the family is to encourage a more holistic lifestyle. I don't always succeed.  However, I will consider last night a small victory.  A new batch of laundry detergent was made.  Seneca and her friend had their hair washed with homemade shampoo and conditioner. Now if I can just get around to buying and setting up a clothes line..............
  Laundry Detergent Recipe
1 cup Borax
1 cup Arm and Hammer washing soda
1 bar of grated Kirk's Castille Soap
   We made a batch of powdered soap this time around.  I'm still working on perfecting the art of homemade liquid detergent. For one thing, I need a 5-gallon bucket.

Shampoo
2 tbs baking soda
2 cups of water
  The actual recipe is 1 tbs of baking soda to 1 cup of water, but I feel that doubling the recipe is more effective. Of course, you can adjust this based on the length and volume of your, or your child's, hair.

Conditioner
1 tbs apple cider vinegar
1 cup water
  I like to keep the water for both and shampoo and conditioner very warm, but not hot.  Regular temperature water goes on the head feeling very cold.  Just be very careful, especially with kids, to test the temperature of the warm water before applying it.

     I haven't been successful in making dish detergent, so we will continue to use Seventh Generation Dish Detergent available in our supermarket. Yes, our corporate owned supermarket. I said I was trying friends, not always succeeding.

When Book Stores Promote Movies

      Our Books-A-Million store here in Bradenton is having a Hunger Games party today. Sounds great. However, anyone who brings in their movie stub gets $5 off of a $25 order. What kind of message does that send to my kids and families like mine who promote, or at least try to promote books over movies?  Also, I try to raise my kids to not go out and buy the lastest fad. I feel like Books-A-Million is telling my kids that our values are wrong, so we shouldn't get to be part of this discount.
     We are the type of family that snaps pictures of people in lines before Black Friday, so that we can laugh.  We have no cable, very few tv channels, no ipads, or such.  And we LIKE it this way.  We very rarely go out to see a movie before it makes it to the dollar theater.  This is part of our family culture that values other things besides the latest fad. Now, my daughter did go see Breaking Dawn on opening night, but she had read the books first. Whether or not the books were great literature or garbage is not relevant.  My point is, she READ them first and then was allowed a treat of seeing the movie.  I am sure that many of Books-A-Million customers who saw the movie will have read the books too. I am not commenting on the customers.  That is their business. There are plenty of movies that I have seen without ever having read the book. 
        My point is about the message that the discount if you bring in your movie ticket sends.  I understand that the bookstore gets lots of business because of the movie. I'm glad that the movie has sent more traffic into a bookstore. 
  I used to love the Harry Potter parties, but those coincided with the release of a book, not the movies.  I think it is wonderful that Books-A-Million is having this celebration. My first thought when I saw the flyer was to attend the event even though I have never read these books.  I thought it might get my 13 and 12 year olds interested in reading these books. We've been on the lookout for new books to read. 
     However, it is more the insult hurled out us for not being a fad-obsessed family that has made me decide that we have better things to do with our time than attend this event. 
  Movie ticket stub?  For a discount at a BOOKSTORE!  Really? 
    Dear Books-A-Million, what message do you think you just sent to my kids?  You're basically telling kids like mine who probaby would have read these books out of their own natural curiosity that said curiosity in and of itsef is not something to be rewarded.  Society will reward those kids who need to be enticed with movies and electronic gadgets, but God forbid MY kids get a discount. MY kids broke the rules of our culture by choosing NOT to see a movie.  

Seneca at Manatee Historical Park

Homeschool Planning

  Planning is definitely what drives me the most crazy when it comes to homeschooling. The planning in and of itself isn't the problem.  The problem is implementing that plan.  I work a somewhat scattered schedule.  So, official homeschool lesson time comes in these bursts.  Liam does have independent work to do while I am at work.  I have roommates, so Liam is not home alone, but legally he could be.
  I will say that doing some unschooling during these times does work very well.  Liam's assigned work is actually quite minimal.  The rest of the time, he is free to pursue his own interests.  The more technical stuff, like grammar and math, are held off until he and I can be together for quiet learning time.  The problem is, our time together is so scattered that I don't feel like we are really gripping and feeling the lesson.  I know that I need to re-arrange my schedule at work and I will probably do so soon, but I have part time hours as it is and I don't want to jeopardize that.
  I guess this scattered way of doing things isn't SO bad.  He has learned the importance of working independently.  We do take a lot of little excursions.  Time for friends and socializing is given as much importance as lesson time.
  Our homeschool just needs a little finessing.  On the other hand, a positive about not having a set schedule is that all of my kids have always been able to handle anything out of the norm/routine very well.  For example, nobody gets agitated if we have a flat tire or just little unexpected things happen. My kids tend to be very :go with the flow" type.  Not always, but most of the time.

Lowery Park Zoo

Field Trip was taken by the three kids to Lowery Park Zoo.  My friend took them because my back was hurting.