Money, Morality, And me Babbling On....

On money and morality. Or perhaps I should say, food stamps and alcohol. 
  I had this friend who is also a single mother of three.  Now, she is a very hard worker and she does mean well. However, on more than one occasion, her kids have come to stay with me or another friend (Kathy) when she could not pay her electric bill. In the beginning, everyone was fine with this.  However, after a repeat pattern of this every few months, Kathy and I began to question a few things.  For example, even when her kids were staying with us, mom and her boyfriend were at the bar every night.  On nights leading up to being unable to pay the electric bill, mom and her boyfriend were at the bar most nights.  Kathy and I are happy to help out, but we feel that this mom should take responsibility herself and budget herself better.  The kids are great. This is not meant as an afront to the kids.  In fact, the oldest daughter, a teenager, is a joy to have around and is a great helper. 
    So this brings me to the whole issue of responsibility and accepting help.  If a person accepts food stamps, should that person be spending their money on cable tv, ipads, iphones, alcohol?  None of these things are illegal, but by accepting food stamps the person has insinuated that he/she does not have the funds for food.  If there was a program to teach people better budgeting skills would that lessen the need for food stamps?  Just thinking out loud here.
      Personally, as someone who receives food stamps I would NEVER use any of my other money on cable, an iphone, or an ipad.  I do however have an occasional glass of alcohol.  However, is even that occasional glass (or glasses) of alcohol a slap in the face to the tax payers who pay for my food stamps?  For that matter, is anything I do that is not a necessity a sign of disrespect to said taxpayers.  I took the kids for rented bike rides, took them to a museum, and more.  While I think of these things as necessary to their development as well-rounded individuals, do I really have the right to be accepting food stamps if I have money for these other excursions?
       One might look at my list and say that these are okay items because they contribute to my children's education.  These items are hardly immoral.  But then we get into that oh so fun world of morality and what is ok or not regardless of legality.  I, like most adults, enjoy a night here and there out at a local bar with friends.  I'm hardly an alcoholic.  Just to clarify, a night here and there means one night every few months.  Now, if I have money for alcohol does that mean I should have money enough for food and not need food stamps?  I am going to give the answer that it depends on how much alcohol I consume.  In my case, the amount spent on alcohol in any given month is so low that it wouldn't make any difference to my food budget. 
     But what if the issue was not alcohol, but Disney World? Should a family on food stamps have the right to take their children to Disney World.  Some would argue that if you can budget for Disney World, then you can budget for food.  Personally, I will side with a family on food stamps going to Disney World.  If for no other reason, children only have a childhood once. Let each child have that magic. 
 So, you can see that I personally approve of alcohol in moderation, museums, and Disney World for food stamp families.  I don't use and don't approve of cable tv, ipads, and iphones, But who the hell am I to make such a judgement for somebody else?  I have my own rules on morality, but I don't want to be controlled my somebody else's moral views. (I am not talking about illegal issues here.)  I mean, many people oppose the fact on a moral grounds that I had a child without being married.  Some say that I should not accept food stamps because I should have been more responsible and not had her outside of marriage.  (Funny thing is, the same such people should also be thrilled with me not using birth control and not having an abortion.)  I don't want to become the morals police and I don't want the other moral police to dictate to me what is okay and isn't with my money.  I have my opinions and that is why I have a blog. 
     I am a mother on food stamps. I drink alcohol.  I sometimes take my kids to Disney World. I do things that some people may not approve of, but they are not illegal.  Sometimes I am irresponsible with my money.  This post is meant to be both self-critical and self assuring.  The difference between me and mainstream society is that I can critique my choices and consider other points of view.  I can learn.  From what I have seen of most mainstream adults, the ability to learn is a lost pre-historic trait.